Illuminate My Soul     (music and lyrics by Amanda Mehl © May 2003)
 
 
I’m so confused but I’ve got to say something, this silence is driving me mad
And I can find no piece of human creation to help me understand
It’s been so long I don’t know where to begin
“Start with where you are” she says, I’m craving icecream again
 
I didn’t make it to the party last night, I walked the railroad tracks instead
hoping their straight iron lines would bring clarity to my head
I watched the sunset trying to think how love might be like the ocean
Walked many miles, waited many days but I cannot escape this emotion
 
It’s like homesick, but I have a home
It’s like lovesick, but I have a lover
It is a longing for a connection I cannot seem to find
to illuminate my soul
 
I’ve worked so hard trying to find an explanation
Maybe I miss my mother, maybe it’s my hormones or the moon fluctuating
Maybe I’m hiding something from myself, maybe it’s just something I ate
Maybe it’s life, or life without something, guiding my way
 
Oh I feel homesick, but not for a place
I feel lovesick, but not for my lover
I’m just longing for connection I cannot seem to find
to illuminate my soul
 
I tend to think loneliness is product of our culture
we’re supposed to be so independent we never really learn to how to talk to each other
It doesn’t matter how many good conversations I have, or how many emails I receive
How the hell am I supposed to get through your walls when I cannot break them in me?
 
Because I am homesick, I thought I had a home
And I am lovesick, but what is love
when I am longing for connection I cannot seem to find
to illuminate my soul
 
I am just longing for connection I cannot seem to find
to illuminate my soul
Won’t you illuminate my soul?
I want you to illuminate my soul
Come on, illuminate my soul